Seven Assassins Walk into a Bar

Playwright Dain Geist

Seven Assassins Walk into a Bar

World Premiere

By Dain Geist

Seven assassins walk into a bar… No, it’s not the start of a joke; it’s the title of the brand new play by Houston actor/playwright Dain Geist. The play takes place in a bar for the wake of a respected-if-not-always-beloved colleague, a legendary assassin named Bartleby. Six fellow assassins have gathered to pay their respects and raise a glass to Bartleby, who happens to be “laid out” right there in the bar. A hilarious, dark comedy about morality, camaraderie, and what it means just to get by in life, this world premiere is filled with swift-moving dialogue and an ending that’s sure to leave audiences gasping.

Recommended for mature audiences due to profanity.


Main Street Theater – Rice Village
2540 Times Blvd.
Houston, TX 77005


February 8 – March 2, 2025
Previews: February 2, 6 & 7

Thursdays – Saturdays at 7:30pm and Sundays at 3:00pm

Tickets: $40 – $63

Open Captioning

February 9 at 3:00pm
Open “in-sync” Captioned Performance


Seating Charts
Learn more about available discounts here.

Running Time: TBD

Please note: no outside food/snacks are allowed at the theater. You may purchase concessions at the show.

Children under the age of 9 are not allowed in the theater.

Season Sponsor

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